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How to Become More Sex Positive

Updated: Jul 6, 2021

Part 1: Sex Positive Affirmations

What are Affirmations?

Positive affirmations are statements of intent and belief that we can write or say to ourselves. They can be something as simple as; "I am good." or as complicated as; "I am an intelligent being and deserving of respect in my field of study."

They are designed to be personal statements of encouragement and inspiration to help us feel more empowered.

Do Positive Affirmations Actually Work?

How much can reciting a sentence really help us or make our life better? It's a good question but thankfully there is science to back it up as a tool of empowerment and self-belief.

There is a theory called the 'self-affirmation theory', (Steele, 1988), that supports the idea that we can increase our self-belief through telling ourselves positive things. By telling ourselves empowering things about ourselves and our life, we are creating a narrative in which we can do what we need to do to deserve it and make it happen. There's a fantastic article that goes more deeply into the psychology of it, read it here.

How Can Affirmations Help Us?

Our identity and beliefs are formed by the messages we receive growing up from our parents and our society. These messages can empower us and shame us, but we have the power to unlearn them and create our own positive messages.

  • Personal, positive affirmations give us a stronger belief in ourselves and make us better at handling stressful or negative situations.

  • They have been proven to help people respond better to criticism, or threatening messages.

  • They can reduce stress and anxiety.

  • It's been linked to increased academic results.

  • They help us form an independent, positive self-identity.

  • It can create a healthier, more optimistic mindset towards life.

Affirmations can be used for all kinds of topics, from your career, studies, health and sexuality, and the more you repeat them, the more effect they will have on you. Of course, repeating the sentence; "I can fly", won't make you fly, but creating your own, realistic set of positive affirmations can create real change in your mindset and self-belief.

Sex Positive Affirmations

Sexuality is a highly stigmatised subject and many of us grow up feeling ashamed of our sexuality and pleasure, so creating a regular time to write and recite positive affirmations can begin to rebuild a healthier narrative around our sexuality.

Try to make time to recite them to yourself once a week or more and use a journal to reflect on your sexual growth journey.

You can use these as your own affirmations or use them to inspire you to write your own personal ones. There are no right or wrong affirmations, just create the message you want to live your life by.

I accept my sexuality and my desires

My sexuality is not shameful

I am worthy and deserving of pleasure

My body is a blessing, not a curse.

Exploring my sexuality is a worthy priority in my life

My desire is beautiful and I will honour it

I am full of sexual energy and potential

My needs are deserving of being met by myself and a partner

My body is capable of giving me so much pleasure

Pain is not a normalised part of my sexual discovery

I am open to new sexual discoveries

I do not put expectations on my sexuality

I forgive myself for repressing my sexuality and now I give it space to blossom

I let go of any pressure to perform sexually

My sexuality is for me and I can share it with others

Sex is a beautiful form of connection

I am capable of giving great pleasure to others

I do not judge myself or others for our needs and desires

I will take time to honour my body, treat it with respect and kindness

My sexual health is a priority

I have the power to say yes and no to sex

I am secure in my body and my sexuality

Becoming More Sex Positive is Healing

Becoming more accepting and positive towards sexuality won't happen over night, but making small changes and introducing habits like affirmations can make a huge difference over time. We are working on helping normalise sexual exploration and heal our shame around our bodies, so check out some more of our posts if you'd like to learn more.

If you'd like to work more deeply on your self love and sexuality, join our 1 Month of Mindful Masturbation course, which gives you daily activities to help you learn and honour your body more, you can join it online whenever you'd like and pay once or join for free as part of our membership program.

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